Troubled

"There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroad. Afraid, confused, without a road map. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. But once in awhile, people push on to something better. Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone, and just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in, or give to some one a second chance. Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream. because it's only when you're tested that you truly discover who you are. And it's only when you are tested that you discover who you can be. The person who you want to be does exist, somewhere on the other side of faith, hard work and belief. And beyond heartaches and fears of what lies ahead."

-Lucas Scott from One Tree Hill

I didn't know that making decisions are so hard. I have been considering and reading on the poly courses that are available since the start of sec 3 and till now, i still can't decide on one. I think the main problem is... just maybe.... i think that i think too much about the......future.
When i try to see myself 10years from now, i can't picture anything. Everything just seems bleak and dull to the extend that i actually think that maybe i don't have a future.
Everyone around me seems to be very certain about the things they do or about to do. But for me, even the simplest decision like "should i continue my job" or "should i find a new job", is so tedious that i actually stayed up till ALMOST dawn and still have no clue about what am i going to do.

I hate being a fickle minded baboon but I can't help it and i hate it!
I HAVE BEEN FEELING SO FRUSTRATED WITH MYSELF SINCE FOREVER. THIS IS GIVING ME A HEADACHE. I know what you're thinking when you read this. You must be thinking "why this girl must create so much trouble for her self" right? Truth is, i try not to but the problem is.. I just can't.