“The thing is, I don’t think of my music as depressing. It’s the opposite, really. You know, it comforts me. It tells me that it’s okay to feel sad or scared or alone and that I’m not alone in how I feel and that’s part of being alive. It’s like a rainy day, you know? A rainy day makes most people sad. Okay, you’re stuck inside, it’s all gloomy, no sunny walk in the park going on but I have to say, I love a rainy day. It’s just an excuse to stay inside and drink hot chocolate, hang out in my room or read a book or just have a day to be alone. I don’t want to go on a walk in the park anyway. I don’t know what that says about me, just because I find comfort in silence and a little sadness. I don’t think that makes me a morose person. I’m just more comfortable in that place. I don’t know, maybe I’m kidding myself.”
Honestly, I get sick of things very easily and I don't know why either. One moment I am super attached to something and the next, I feel super tired of it. One great example is my current job.| — |
When I first got there, I feel like as though this was it. The first job that I am going to stay on throughout my entire holiday. It was perfect. The surrounding, the people, the drinks, the freedom and the attire. Everything is super laid back and just not that hard.
But now, I am starting to feel like there isn't anything much to those already. At first it was great and all but now, everything seems normal.
This may sound random but... I WANT TO GET OUT OF SINGAPORE. *Please send me away!* I want a short and perfect getaway. And my definition of a 'perfect getaway' is just staying at some Bed & Breakfast place in the country side where there's mountains and a field of flowers(specifically sunflowers), with horses available for you to ride or groom and pizzas everywhere for the entire trip. Just something relaxing but yet, enjoyable.
I want this because I need some time on my own. I want to venture off aimlessly without caring about anyone's wants. To only satisfy my own needs. But......sadly I don't think I'll be able to that unless I am 30 or something. The thing is my parents are very protective and I need them to know that I want to be able to enjoy myself before I actually have to focus on my future. Being 18 is definitely the best timing to do things that I want to do. When I reach 21, enjoying life and doing things as and when I want isn't really ideal at all.
They really really reallllllllllly need to know that it's time! Haha but I have no idea how to bring this up again. The last time I brought this up.... let's just say.... my father got what he wanted which is me listening and agreeing with him. I have to learn to have a firm stand first. And when the time comes, I will have 'THE TALK'.
The past few days was pretty great. Except for the fact that training was cancelled twice which means I haven't exercised for 5 days (FAT) and I have this sudden rash which I have no idea what caused it.
I've got to work from 3pm-1am tomorrow. PLEASE let it be a breeze! :(
So addicted to this song:
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