IVP is going on and suddenly the whole team isn't playing like how we normally play :( Coach seems super disappointed to the extent that he never talk to us during time outs. I have no idea why.. Suddenly I miss Shenjiaolian. His presence really give me a sense of security. Like if I am lost in a game, he will always find a way to make me not feel that lost and regain my composure.
I honestly don't feel confident when I am on the court now a days. I seem so uncertain about the things that I am doing. This is bad.and I honestly think I will be bench next year. And if that happens, I really don't know whether I can hang on... But whatever it is, I have to play well for this IVP.
I don't know why but I got this feeling that I am playing just to fill the spot and as long as I don't make any mistake, everyone will feel relief. I really don't like it... It wasn't like this in the past. Fuck.
This month and next month is going to be tough. There's project submission, tests, presentation, IVP, trainings and exams all packed in these 2 months.
I didn't really contribute much for this sem's projects. Thank god for my super understanding group mates! :)
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